I think it was around the time my first teeth began jutting through my gums that I took my first bite of cereal. I imagine it was plain cheerios with no milk I initially gobbled down which really questions as to why I continued with the food genre, as they really suck that way. Eventually I graduated to adding milk and putting it in a bowl and taking care to eat the mixture with a spoon.
There’s something irresistibly versatile about cereal. You can eat it plain or with milk, (or any other liquid for that matter, though one would question the sanity of a person liquefying with more exotic drinks). There are countless different kinds; you’ve got fruity kinds, chocolaty kinds, kinds that are healthy, kinds that are guaranteed to leave you with multiple cavities, and kinds that are actually chocolate chip cookies (yes, I’m serious, you can have cookies for breakfast. They have the full-court press on advertising to kids with free-thinking parrots and hip tigers. What is there not to love about cereal?
According to my calculations, I’d estimate consumption of cereal to be around 3,000 bowls from ages 7-14. That averages out to a little over one bowl a day. The good thing is I always used reusable bowls so I did my part in saving the planet. And I know what you’re thinking, “well, everybody’s got to eat breakfast.” I would argue your point there but that is irrelevant, it was not just breakfast. Contrary to what you’ve been told by the government, cereal can be eaten at any time of the day, and to tell you the truth, it’s probably better during the afternoon, when you’ve woken up and can appreciate the serene quality of slightly soggy wheat.
There came a time when I was finally told to “grow up.” “You aren’t supposed to eat cereal all the time.” “No, you can’t have that for dinner.” Somewhere, somehow, things just sped up, life started getting “cereal,” and suddenly a children’s past time was no more. Cereal has become one of a long list of things left behind by things like “life” and “responsibility”. It’s time to take back our rights.
